once upon a 2.5months

One of my dearest friends told me, when she was in between jobs aka unemployed, it was one of the best times in her life. Not that I dont believe her. Perhaps it was the choice of words - I wouldnt bat an eyelid if she had said, I dont know - "rewarding", "inspiring".. whatever. But there wasnt a descriptive adjective per se; just "best time".

I was in between jobs too, 3 months later.

Not being axed, or about to be axed. I was offered another position when I tendered. It was difficult telling people that I was tired of doing what I did; sheepishly - only for a tad 3 years. On hindsight, I could say it wasnt the job function but the job requirement. When dancing around the crowd became a KPI, you've got to be "there"... I once told someone, how to sell a golf set if you dont even know how many clubs there are. You dont need to have a PC to seel clubs, but at least recognise the numbers.

Well, it was a memorable 2.5 months. Not something I could afford to revisit anytime soon.

Slept on the couch, watched 10hours of TV, turned down 3 job offers.

One hell of a 2.5months...

Let me try

I walked into River Island yesterday with the intention of strolling away my lunch. I saw this gorgeous pair of shoes and my heart skipped a beat - the left shoe blinked at me. It must be fate! Because I wasnt shopping, and these shoes found me. This reminds of the scene in an old season of Sex and the City when Carrie...

I met up with some ex-classmates earlier in the week and we decided to check out this place called Colbar at Portsdown Road. The old colonial decor mirrors the beautiful ruins of...



I CANNOT CONTINUE ANYMORE.

I very mean leh; that author has done nothing to me and I am making fun of her blog.
JM - karma, karma...

So long...?

What's happened in the past one year? Rather, what have i to write about?

Under the influence of peer and societal pressure, and not forgetting alcohol that resulted in totally negative and unhealthy thoughts, what should I bitch about? That no one had heard from Jeanne in recent months...

I dont know. Crystal had so aptly put it across - that it is in my blood to incorporate negative thoughts into every damn thing. Do I? And why do I? I like to question but I dont necessarily like the answers. I like to; hey you havent been through shit, so dont act like you have fought world war II and give me a lecture about nationalism. I havent been through world war II either. But somehow I like to compare it to someone who's actually been through a war, dodged a bullet, received a war medal and talked about life like it's the best thing thats ever happened. Let me tell you, I might not have never been to war, but I KNOW life... I'm not saying it's treating me so bad beause life's a bitch; it just doesnt surprise me when it bites.

Will endeavour to put forth something a tad bit positive. Let me try... I promise it will be a concerted effort - my brains, my mind and my heart.

Positive...

Positivity...

I have not blogged for over a year and I just found out I have ONE reader!!

For the sake of this reader, here's a re-start...

It's been more than a year. I dont even remember my password to blogspot! Lucky these days websites have wonderful tech support - lose anything also can retrieve...

I dont remember a lot of things. A friend told me that alcohol kills brain cells. Yes, my name is Jeanne and I am an alcoholic.

I need to elaborate: alcohol kills brain cells. Does that mean the quality of my thought processes is compromised? Cant be what, lotsa rich bankers and traders drink alcohol like water and they still have the capacity to perform at work. But wait, now financial markets going down. The causes of it pointed to the directions of, for lack of a better word - "let's do things the simpler way" attitude. Revelation - Jeanne made a groundbreaking discovery; she found out that because bankers and traders drink too much, it screwed up their brain cells, as a result they made irrational decisions, and that led to the economic crisis... WOW!

I'm gonna have some free time pretty soon and I hope I have the discipline to update over 365 days of back-dated rambling. Even if I have a following, I think people would be more interested to read about the warp things that go through my mind than to know how many points I redeemed from the UOB ladies card this month. See, the blog is not for day-to-day updates. It's a channel to air my thoughts.

Self-fulling prophecy

How sad is it, that we "force-justify" our actions and thoughts?

If I remember my social psychology - We splurge on an expensive golf bag. Because we have committed so much time and effort in golf that we feel that it's a responsibility to keep the golf clubs in the best condition. It's respect for the sport that the owner looks good. It's a reward to ourselves for practising so hard every weekend. It's a social requirement that golfers look rich and groomed. It is the right decision to have spent that money on an expensive golf bag.

Why do we need so much conviction on choices we made? Are we insecure? Are we afraid of being judged, that we have to constantly defend our actions?

Let's take this further. If we didnt buy the new expensive golf bag, we might feel disgruntled and end up not going for golf. We might curse and swear while stuck at the 4th hole. We might end up telling a friend who owns the same expensive golf bag that his bag is most hideous-looking thing on the green.

Anything, and everything, that will make us go back to the golf shop and buy the golf bag.

I cant help it. I really really cant help it...

Some places

I cant decide if I like Phuket; likewise Bintan, Koh Samui or any beach resorts in Southeast Asia.

Too spoilt and cosy in cities where I dont have the word "tourist" printed on my forehead. People could tell I am not native; could be a student, an expat or a visiting someone. I'm just not them, and I'm there only for a short period. Being a tourist is different. It means carrying the following - a camera, a map and the perpeptual "hmm, we're going this way" look. Really, when I see non-locals taking pictures of the merlion, I'd go "fucking tourists"...

Oh well.

I like Phuket in that there are (probably) more tourists than locals. The Thais (in Phuket) are more interested in making you spend than ogling you walking around in bikini tops and surf shorts. You have a good mix of foreigners from all over. You know this is a not place you go to, for work or to visit friends. You just want to get away. Yeah, that makes one a fucking tourist.

Damn, I am a walking irony...

What's your thought?

It's either I have some serious thoughts every few months or I feel an obligation to prove to "nobody" that I can still write.

No revelations, just some been-there-along-except-I-didnt-pick-up observations. What is effective communication? Clear, succinct, good tone? More than that. It's an irony actually. Because "effective" communication is about bringing across a point so that something gets done, in the most indirect way! Sometimes in order to get things moving, you cant go head on. Must go in circles... Only in certain situations.

Friends always tell me I think too much. Instinctively, my response would be "isnt that what the brain is for?" While one is not sitting in front of the computer or plotting to kill, what does one do? You mean the brain really rests? Dont we all walk and chew gum?

Maybe it's not that I think too much; but I reveal too much. Possible?

I'll connect the effective communication bit with the think too much bit. If things werent spoken so directly, there wouldnt be a mindmap in my head. I might have taken things literally, at face value; and the outcome would have been different. It's good to be inquisitive. A "positive" thing, you know? Like being meticulous?

Yes, I'm wasting time. But it keeps me entertained.

errors...

The thing about having to write something for print is that, you could go through your draft 10, 20, 50 times... At the end of it all, there will be this huge, obvious, blatant, cost-you-an-arm mistake smiling and waving at you, but you WONT notice it. It will be something like, spelling error of your biggest client's name...

This is much worse than not securing the deal.

Why???